Fears and worries

It's normal for children to feel afraid at times. Fear is an emotion that can help kids be cautious. Things that are new, big, loud, or different can seem scary at first. Parents and teachers can help kids feel safe and learn to feel at ease.

So how do we help kids start feeling braver? The key is an invisible skill called self regulation. Self-regulating is essentially the ability to process and manage our own emotions and behaviors in a healthy way. It’s what gives us the ability to talk ourselves down or to feel things without acting on them. Most grown-ups practice self-regulation without a second thought. Think of feeling a moment of fear before reassuring yourself that there’s really nothing scary about a dark room. But for kids, building self-regulation takes time, practice and space to learn — which means parents have to get comfortable with letting kids be a little uncomfortable as they figure things out. This can be challenging.

Remember:

• It takes time and practice for children to learn new coping skills.
• Young children usually learn best when you do it with them.
• Older children may be able to use coping skills but still need support when scared.
• Children feel secure and confident when they have regular quality time with parents and carers.
• Bedtime is often when fears can surface. Try to have some calming time before bed to unwind and develop a bedtime routine.

Help children identify what is happening in their bodies when they experience strong feelings like fear, for example some children say they have a pain in the tummy. Help them understand that their thinking ( I’m scared of the dark), leads to strong feelings ( in this case fear) which then influences what happens in the body, (such as the way they breath  or things like pains in the tummy). These things then impact what actions the child can take, such as settling down to sleep.

Fears and worries